The illustrious Jay will lead us on a first-class tour of his thoughts regarding, but not limited to: distributed computation, database schemata, quantum weirdness and the second half of Boole's Laws of Thought.

Bell's Theorem will be stated as a limitation on what a certain lambda expression can compute.  The main hypothesis in this version of the theorem is that all functions in sight be classical, and not quantum.

It is recommended the gentle reader pack a healthy appetite for bad jokes.

References:
http://www.hippiessavedphysics.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Laws_of_Thought
http://bayes.cs.ucla.edu/BOOK-2K/index.html
http://web.cecs.pdx.edu/~maier/TheoryBook/TRD.html
http://www.panix.com/~jays/Boole.four.page.summary.for.1.August.2006.Cork.conference.Sulzberger.v.5.pdf